for the higher you, me, we.

been in japan for a year & not a lot but a lot has changed. mostly within. & also without. i gained weight outchere & literally coworkers & random people alike out here have told me how i gained weight,which is a subject that is sometimes treated like its the weather. different cultural context, i have assumed. but still the same scrutiny & policing of the femme body as in america. still the same hegemonic notions of what is worthy & what is unworthy. unfortunately, i found myself wandering the dark corridors of insecurity, often feeling my body & physical existence were "less than...", especially in a country of mostly very skinny people. not the first time I have felt such self-loathing; my first two years of college i struggled tough with an eating disorder & a really skewed & fucked perception of my own self. this story is not new for femme peeps or folks in general. we live a culture that makes us hate ourselves. but like honestly fuck off, cause me, you, we are fucking made of gorgeous sparkly star dust that can traverse time & space with fucking resilience & brilliance. each one of us is the incredible, intricate, & magical symphony of ecosystems. like the fuck, you cut my skin that shit grows back?! groh wha!? millions of particles from infinity itself, recycled, to form y o u. a face & vessel & human experience that only y o u have. me, you, we are more than the walls & constructs that have been built over time. we are the fucking universe - within & without - & oh so worthy of unconditional, grade-a l o v e. revolution starts yoself, ourself, inside out, to reach the higher you, the higher me, the higher W E. no need for outside validations or male compliments, you good kween & do bad all by yoself (ourself)! good night from japan. #babygrohgotherbabybootybackdoebluhd #keepyoshit100